World Cup XI

The players who have inspired me in the World Cup

Goalkeepers

Paston - An amazing keeper, great at stopping shots. It seemed like quite a lot of shots came straight at him, but that's hard to stop with a ball like the jabulani.

Enyeama - Something about him seems like a lion, or a leopard. Sleek, athletic. He lefthandedly kept Messi goalless.

Defenders

Isla - Smart, quick, great attacking player from the back in the 3-3-3-1 formation for Chile. Worked really well with Sanchez.

Salcido - Likes shooting, from anywhere.

Metresacker - A big friendly man. Never gets a yellow card. Can actually pass the ball. The best German player against Spain.

Cha Du-Ri - Always left in plenty of space by the opposition. He got so much of the ball against Uruguay. I think it was on purpose. He tries so hard though.

Midfielders

Ozil - Constant craving. k d lang's had his photo as her Facebook profile picture. Quicker than you'd think he is. Doesn't hold on to the ball for a second longer than he should, puts the ball in the right place.

Alexis Sanchez - Not a dirty player at all. Direct. He doesn't see opponents, he just sees training cones. His neck bulges with veins. He loves shooting. The ball.

Mark van Bommel - Stereoscopic vision with a chip in his head that knows exactly where the cameras and ref are watching at every point in time. He can do the most vicious foul and make it seem like it was all the other guy's fault. Did not get a yellow card until the semi-final, and that was for wasting time in the 90th minute. The shortest yellow card in history.

Arjen Robben - The most handsome man in world football, when Robben smiles, the light can... it is hoped, one day make Craig Foster see teams that aren't Arsenal or Barcelona. His implied speed makes time slow around him. The most beautiful left foot in the world. You know what he's going to do but you can't stop him, aka his goal against Slovakia. The unique wobbly way he walks, kind of like a penguin.

Chung-yong Lee - The darling of Korean football, skills, trickery, great shooting. Even scored a header against Argentina. Plays for one of the brightest teams in world football, Bolton Wanderers.

Clint Dempsey - Give it to the doctor. McDreamy. He can play in midfield or as a forward. Tough, fast, texan.

Landon Donovan - Runs like he's taking lots of little steps and rolls his sleeve up, like he's going to get to work.

Milos Krasic - The worst Shane Watson look a like. My how we booed when he played Australia. It really got to him because he did absolutely nothing with the ball, missed an open goal, hit every cross into the crowd, got moved into the centre of midfield away from the crowd, and then subbed off in the second half. Serbia finished bottom of their group.

Forwards

Harry Kewell - Looked absolutely amazing playing as the lone forward against Ghana. Shame he got sent off, everything was going through him.

David Villa - He can shoot and actually looks like he might score. Unlike every other player on the Spanish team. The most defensive team ever to win the World Cup.

Georgie Welcome - Thank you. You're welcome. No, you're welcome. I'm Welcome. Georgie Welcome.

Coach

Jogi Low - That cardigan. So beautiful, baby blue. They made a wonderful couple, him and his assistant coach. It's a new Germany.