Tuesday, September 21, 2010

4 years boils down to...

We learn a lot at work and I guess some of the times you remember are those that make you laugh. Names are changed to protect the guilty.

d (when girls chat to him): Do you know who Cerpin Taxt is? He was in a coma for 10 years. Once he got out of the coma, he killed himself.

g (chats to girls): I'm a support employee at Ipsos. I provide the desks and the mice for everyone.
rg: Mice doesn't sound right, for computers.
g: You are right, meece sounds better.


g: this morning, i was thinking of looking at the between group and within group variance of wankerness in my social group

g: let's go to teenwood at 12
d: isn't 12 preteen?

g (gets out at level 6): i thought it was a g
g: it happens all the time
g: i always get 6 and G confused together

a: from now on, i'm going to be gay
d: what do you mean, from now on?
a: girls no longer turn me on, seriously, they do nothing for me.

a: i'm in a pod with x and xx.
g: so a pod with three people?
a: yeah i'm in a tripod, get it? im the massive front stand of the pod!
d: actually, it's more like a quadropod with three people.

P breaks his foot in a kick boxing accident and still wants to go out for lunch with us:
P: Is there anywhere nearby we could go so i dont have to walk far?
g: Maybe there is a chariot we could get you in Hs office?
P: Where can I find a chariot?
d: Sparta Prague?
a: This is Spaaaaaaaaarta

G: I think one of the best songs ever to be made is Rihanna: Umbrella. I mean, once the ella ella ella part comes on, it just gives me chills at how good it is. The lyrics are so deep and profound.

D: Lets call it "I know my alleys!' (lets not)
One of those 'let it run straight back to the keeper' moments.

Guythhh, seriouthly, the eastth is tho much better than the north, like seriouthhly! Think about it.

I've had thursday for ages on my itunes, but i haven't listened to it on a thursday yet. guess i'll be doing that tomorrow?

A talking to D about Barcelona after their 'win' against Chelsea.
A: Look, as far as im concerned, all Barcelona fans can go and eat my freshly made shit!

a: i'd never go out with anyone from the greenwood. they think they are so hot and cool.
g: you think you are so hot and cool too.
a: but the ones from the greenwood are not. they think they're so cool to be working at the greenwood, but theyre not, like, seriously.
g: i don't really see the difference.
a:I am at least graceful and dignified in my hotness and coolness.

a: I call my brother Peter after Peter Andre, because he's gay.
e: Peter Andre's not gay.
a: Yeah but I thought he was. He just broke up with his wife. The things I would do to that woman, would be illegal in EVERY country
d: Is she your sister?
a: I would f%#$ her in her nostril
d: So.... it's really that small?
a: I would f%#$ the shit out of her (waitress clears and tables and hears everything that was said). I would quite literilly, f%#$ her brains out!!

What are you? A sphinkter??

The story goes that during the State of Origin II last week, Nate Myles had a bout of poopies in the middle of the field. After confirring with his colleague in Sam Thiaday, he then proceeded to 'scooping' the pooh out of Nate Myles pants, wiping/cleaning his hand on the grass and carried on playing as if nothing had happened. The things people do to win a silly old game.
He was Man of the Match.

D: I'm feeling very flaccid today.
G: Placid.
D: No, I 'mean flaccid.

Some P quotes:
(with two beers in front of him): Are you drinking in stereo?

Sometimes, when you see a girl from behind, and then you pass by her in your car, you should not look back. There is a high probability that it will not be as good as what you are imagining, like 99.9% chance.

My friend escaped from marriage to Australia.

My friend walks up to girls and says 'I want to f*** you?'

D: In my experience, the frequency of South African girls I have met that are hot is the highest of any country.
G: Why do you have to bring statistics into everything? Just have some fun every once in a while. You know, just say 'South Africans are so hot.. I can't wait to go over there and you know ... '.
D: Ahh but that's not it. I said in my experience, the sample size I have, they are the hottest.
G: So it's like the opposite of what we do with beer? We export the shit ones, keep the good ones here?
D: Hmmm, maybe it's the opposite of the opposite... don't know what the word is?
E: The same?
D: More sleep.
G: More red bull.

me so whiiiiiiiite, you sooooo yelllllllow!!

D: Look at what Ash is eating.
A: Yeah looks like curry.
P: Ash, you must have a lot of experience. In India they have the Kama sutra right?
D + A: hysterical laughter
P: Too much sex makes you short-sighted right? That's why it is in large print, right Ash?

A: Do you ever sing that song My Girl to her?
D: No.
A: You know, it's got that lyric 'I've got the month of May'.
D: How bout I get this bottle of wine and smash it on you?

D: When I was in Thailand, these dudes turned into guys.

G: we stumbled across a hip hop night
i thought i'd finally achieve my blackie
alas wasn't to be
ahhhh dammit... did u chat to any??
No. Blame it on the boogie

Random chick is explaining something animatedly to her friends, G, S, and L are there during EOM drinks
S - OMG what the hell's she doing? She's so scary, she looks like she could eat you up
L - That's the way its sweetest... she'll be eating you up, in control on top - then just before the climax, you flip her over and teach the bitch a lesson

u guys fly everywhere in sydney
i just drive mate
often take train too
havent' got wings yet
my wish is to fly high in sydney's sky
if we put enough money for your farewell
we will get wings for you
i think $5 raised so far
will keep you posted
at the moment, butterfly wings
haha.....it is in accordance with the current economic climate.

A: I'd get a second opinion too if I was just asking myself.

l:i love peas! they're so full of juicy pea-ness

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